Closure

Day 34

"What was closure if not a clock? Not an end as everyone imagined , but a beginning." Celeste Cheney

Life consists of a series of endings and beginnings. They come from our conscious choices or from circumstances that may seem to just happen to us. We are sometimes prepared, but many times we are not. When we are not prepared for these flows of endings and beginnings, they can happen so quickly that we are pushed into a new phase feeling we may not have recovered from the previous. That often leads us to feeling that we did not get closure from one event to take us into the other.

Closure is a tricky thing. We often seek or value closure because it justifies and ties up loose ends to what is no more. It makes us feel settled, and possibly more accepting of that thing being no more. However, I have learned that there are times when those loose ends do not get tied up from the outside. We do not receive the answers to the questions we repeatedly ask; we do not receive the final conversation to say what would "make it all right"; or we are left wondering why this thing happened.

It is easy for us to get stuck in the desire for closure. We are blinded by the past that we miss the new beginning is transpiring before us. Truthfully, we may only feel we received closure if that person or thing offers to us what we feel we need to hear. If closure is dependent on what someone else can offer, we are left dependent on an outside source, versus us taking the lead and the time to look within to process what that event or thing meant to our lives.

There are many scenarios where the circumstances of life can only leave us with the unknown. Some things may meant to be unsaid. To rebuild and heel our hearts, the solution may be to let go of the unanswered questions. It may be to reflect inward on how that experience left and where the lessons can take you. If we make our peace less contingent on what others can provide, we take back our power and walk with a bit more reassurance that life will be ok. Sometimes the purpose isn't closing the door on what happened in the end, but being grateful for everything prior that brought purpose and meaning to your life - then, and moving forward.

"There's a trick to the 'graceful exit.' It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over - and let it go. It means leaving what's over without denying its validity or its importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out." Ellen Goodman